Everything happens for a reason. How true. If not for an incident which had happened, I would not realise how I can be like a serene island, remaining calm and composed in the middle of a stormy turbulence. In a battle of emotional intelligence, the master of his or her own emotions is the king. And a king wins battles.

Are you a King who wins battles or are you a mongrel, who fights to see who can shout the loudest?

I am thankful that while I am struggling to brave through a rough patch in life, I have angels around me in various forms, giving me moral strength to carry on. I want the angels in my life to know, from the bottom of my heart, I really appreciate and love all of you!

Sometimes, there are things which are beyond money. Some people will be wondering why some squabbles arise. Most of the times, they stem from money. But if not handled properly, they will grow and will no longer be a simple money issue.

Most of the times, they are a matter of principle, a matter of trust. Once a trust has been betrayed, it will never be the same. Trust has to be earned, and is very fragile. Once broken, the trust will be lost forever.

A series of unfortunate events seemed to have agitated me for the past two weeks. I have to admit that I have been rather negative, emotionally and thinking-wise. However, what happened on Tuesday reminded me that God of Kindness is still smiling at me.

I was feeling ravenous and went for early dinner with my colleague. The food centre was quite deserted as it was not meal time yet. After ordering our food, I started recounting the series of events that has been plaguing me, which almost made me go berserk. When my food came, I gladly dug into the sumptuous food, heaving a sigh of relief when the hot tasty food warmed my tummy and calmed my nerves.

I must have been quite animated when I was telling my stories, until the waitress came a few times to check whether the meat is cooked according to our taste. Each time, I smiled at her and said it was good! I lost count of how many times she came over, but I am very sure that she came not less than four times!

During one of those ‘checks’, the same waitress asked if I would like anything extra. So I jokingly said I won’t mind more fries, even though my plate was overflowing with coleslaw. And she did came back with a plateful of fries, at no cost! I was truly taken aback. Hey, even though the cave I’m in is bleak, there’s still a flicker of light.

I was so grateful for her random act of kindness. For it really brightened up my day, a lot. I flashed her my best smile from my heart. For that, really changed the state I was in, into something more empowering.

That single little act, brought me back to an earlier event on the same day. I was then, in that negative state I was, feeling as though the world has turned its back on me. I took a cab to do something somewhere. I sacrificed my time, my effort and my money and all I get was a totally worthless trip. When I reached my destination on the return trip, I realised that I did not have enough cash to pay the cab driver, after paying for the earlier trip. And I was already late. Really late.

I need to go and withdraw money from the atm which is quite near though, but another passenger was already waiting outside for the cab. I was desperately looking around in my bag for some loose coins or dollar notes that I might have stashed somewhere for emergency but came to nought.

The passenger outside was feeling a bit impatient and opened my door. He asked, not enough cash? I nodded. He asked how much and I said two dollars. He briskly whipped out his wallet and took out a two-dollar note and gave it to me. I was dumbfounded. I took the note with embarrassment and gave it to the taxi driver. The taxi driver broke into a relieved smile.

I thanked the man profusely before and after I had alighted from the cab. I kept asking the man for his name and how to repay him. I’ll remember this kind act from a total stranger and intend to repay him.

And more surprisingly, on the same day, a phone call came to deliver good news. I was ecstatic! I was really, really grateful for everything that has been happening. With just a switch in state, a series of unfortunate events has turned into a series of altruism from strangers…

To the strangers that I’ve experienced kindness from, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’ll make sure that I pass on this generous display of altruism

Amidst the much fanfare of celebrating the new year and letting go of the past year, it suddenly dawned upon me that, it is up to me to set myself free. Free from all the worries, the apprehension, the waiting, the anticipation, the trepidation and the ambivalence of life…

I didn’t realise or had refused to acknowledge that all these years, I’ve allowed myself to be bogged down and limited by the bond I have. I am as free as I allow myself to be.

Freedom is not 6 months from now, but from this moment onwards. It had been those restrictions I put on myself, which has made me live the kind of life I’ve been leading for the past few years, ever since the event which affected me very much…

Until today, I still could not forget the hurt and pain I’ve felt then. The sudden feeling of being lost, being left alone, the feeling that I’m the only person left in this world, the feeling of being unwanted…

This realisation that this event has subconsciously affected me so much… so much that I’m unaware that it has been the hidden hand in my life for the past few years… leading to the downward fall on the life graph…

What am I waiting for?

Indeed, there’s something that I’ve been waiting for. And now, it is almost becoming a reality. However, I am very puzzled that I am not as happy as I wanted to be. I’m baffled. In fact, I felt sad. Sad that things are no longer the same, sad that it is not what I’ve always envisioned it to be. When I saw that sadness in the eyes, my heart fell down in a thud. I know that is the real truth, which the pair of eyes had failed to conceal while the face attempted to all these while.

I have to be true to myself. If I ask my heart, my heart would tell me to be happy. Heard of the phrase, when you are happy, I am happy too? How true.

I yearn for simple little things that many people take for granted. And as I yearn for that, I find myself feeling sad. Sad because I don’t know when that will be a reality. And when it is a reality, whether it is really what I envisioned it to be. Because the sadness I’ve seen in those eyes, is just too real to deny.

I’d rather no changes happen than to see that sadness in those eyes again. I’d rather just me feeling those sadness than have it multiply.

The pain is no longer bearable. I have to stop it. I have to treat myself better, because no one will or can. So I told myself that, from this moment, I will live every moment to the fullest and stop living in the past or in the future. Just like now, I’m appreciating the writing therapy I’m having now.

Whatever I am going to do from now onwards, every decision, every move, will serve to make me appreciate every moment to the fullest, appreciate the beauty of life, be happy and free.

It is my life and I decide how it should be.

And I choose to live life happily and freely, filled with abundance of love.

No one would appreciate myself and the sacrifices that I’ve made more than myself. And no one would understand myself better than myself…

At the same time, I’m grateful that, during these few years, there have been people who have been around me, cheering me up, making my day so much brighter. Thank you too to those people who gave me the opportunity to see how strong I can be, for testing my patience, for testing my resilience and flexibility, for challenging me, for testing how resourceful I can be.

Thank you too to the unspoken love I’ve felt and the spoken love that I will feel. Love is a feeling that warms the heart, while words are analysed by the brain. Which one is truer, you and I know best.

Maybe females are more fortunate. We are blessed with a very sharp and more sensitive receiver towards feelings, even to the slightest one. Some people term this the sixth sense. And most of the time, it is accurate. There are a lot of things that females know but never mentioned. Let it be a secret for us

After letting my soul free, I felt so much better. Let go. Let go. Let go. Just open your fists and let go, let go of whatever that has been limiting you, allowing yourself to be free again. That’s right…

Yah.. who I am, Makes a Difference!

Two Choices 

What would you do?….you make the choice. Don’t look for a punch line, there isn’t one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice? 

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: ‘When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?’ 

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. ‘I believe, that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.’ 

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, ‘Do you think they’ll let me play?’ Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps. 

Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, ‘We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.’ 

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father’s joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. 

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. 

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. 

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. 

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to first! Run to first!’ Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. 

Everyone yelled, ‘Run to second, run to second!’ Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball … the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. 

All were screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay, all the way Shay’

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, ‘Run to third! Shay, run to third!’ 

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay, run home! Run home!’ Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team. 

‘That day’, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, ‘the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world’. 

Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day! 

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces. 

If you’re thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you’re probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren’t the ‘appropriate’ ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the ‘natural order of things.’ So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process? 

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them

You now have two choices:

1. Delete

2. Forward 

May your day, be a Shay Day 

Serial addiction at work. Been on an emotional roller-coaster ride for the past few days, since I started watching the Hong Kong serial ‘The Ultimate Crime Fighter’ during the Hari Raya Haji and the Christmas holidays. 

The serial hooked me up from the the first episode and for the next three episodes, had me sitting gripping to my seats, eyes fixed on the television screen. The first few episodes are about a police officer being a spy in the gangster world, similar to the movie Infernal Affairs. Later on, the other elements of a great serial creeped in, such as relationships, career, friendship and family values.

What’s amazing about the main cast is that he could act all sorts of roles, projecting different identities very convincingly. From acting as a Thai national speaking with Thai accent, a spineless gigolo, a firm police officer, a romantic, a psychotic, a good guy and a bad guy, as well as displaying skills like ice-skating, blowing saxophone and humour. Amazing indeed. 

Not many good-looking actors in the serial though, and the one that can make it, is the bad guy.. sigh.. :p But the female casts are pretty though ;)Anyway, what I really want to write about is the lesson learnt from the serial.

There is a reason I do not usually watch serials, and when I watch, there is always something to learn.Just like in this serial, I would recommend it to anyone, because there are indeed a lot of good values and messages embedded in it.

I’m sure different people will gain something from different areas of the serial. To know what messages you will get, you will have to watch it yourself. Different people will get inspired with different scenes and situations projected in the serial. 

As for me, the main message I get from it is to cherish and appreciate whatever that we have right now. To realise it much later, would be too late. And how we live our lives all depends on what we think. If we think life is beautiful, life will be beautiful. If we think everyone is kind-hearted, everyone will be.

The reverse is also true. If we think others are out to get us, no matter what the person does, will also be bad, because in our eyes, we only see the negative things. But if we give others the benefit of the doubt, and look at it in an objective way, not everything is as bad as we thought. 

What we need, is just to look at it from a different angle, from a different perspective. Stand in another person’s shoe, think and feel like the person and you will understand what is going on in the person’s mind. 

Human being is such a weird creature. We usually take things for granted until we lose them. And by then, it is too late. What we can do, is to cherish whatever we have right now.Count our blessings and be grateful for all the little things in life.

Sometimes, in the hectic lives we live chasing after somethings, we neglected some little things that we thought we will always have. It could be something very simple, such as good health, eyesight, a pair of hands, a roof over the head, family, friends, a job and others that we might have overlook in our daily lives. 

Would you have realised that, the more you are grateful for what you have and for the good things others have done for you, you would get more of it? Have you ever given someone something and the person is very happy and grateful for it? How would you feel? Wouldn’t you want to give even more? Because you feel that everything that you have done, is really worth it?

Think about it. Since the new year 2008 is coming soon, take this time to reflect on our lives and be thankful for everything. With this, I would like to wish everyone, a very happy new year! :D Cheers~!   

The past few days have been an amazing and awesome experience. An experience that is heart-warming, fulfilling and one that floods your heart with love. And I too felt that, I’ve stretched and grown to be a better person, someone who makes a difference being who I am.

As I relive the experience here as a first time coach for Patterns of Excellence (POE) Module 2 by Adam Khoo and Stuart Tan from Oct 3-Oct 7, I could still feel the exhilaration and the warm, fuzzy feeling I felt.

Initially, it didn’t start off quite well for myself. I did my best to complete my job at work and then rushed to AKLTG. As I reached there, I was just right on time for the Milton Model language patterns game.

It was really fun having a conversation with each other using the language patterns. I would remember how Robert used that to strike a conversation which means a lot to me, something that I felt the same way too.

I wouldn’t not deny that initially I was a bit lost, just like the feeling when I first coached for POE Module 1. I’m so thankful to have Tracy Tan as my co-coach for Mod 2, and also Uncle Yew Soon for Mod 1, who guided me through. Thank you Tracy and Uncle Yew Soon! Who you are really did make a difference!

After a while, I began to get the hang of it and I told myself that I will do my best to be the best coach I can be and at the same time, carry out the tasks assigned to me and also to help others out.

There were times when I do feel fear inside me, and it means a lot to me when I’ve conquered them! Just like how I see lives transformed up there, with soft breeze on my face and wind beneath the wings of eagles, bringing them soaring through the sky.

I would always remember the way the eyes lit up with joy when the participants have achieved their goals! I could feel a sensation of warm feeling rushing through me, and I could also feel as though my heart is smiling together with them. I was ecstatic, and at the same time, feel so happy to see breakthroughs in their lives! I will always remember these moments

I would also remember how one of them kissed his goal so many times and not willing to let go, how the tears of joy spouted from another girl’s eyes after she had conquered her fears and how another participant could finally enjoy the time she has with her son.

I’m also very touched when one of them wrote to me, saying my smile had meant a lot to her. I’ve never known I would mean so much to others. And as I realised that I could help to transform lives and helping others achieve breakthroughs in their lives, I vowed to myself to always give my best, to be the best person I can be.

All the challenges and fears that I’ve overcomed and conquered for the past few days, only means that I am now a more confident person, a more flexible person, a more loving person, a more capable person, a better communicator as well as a more resourceful person. And now I know, I can survive and remain energetic with only two to three hours of sleep a day

Thank you all for stretching me, and for allowing me to stretch you too. Thank you for giving me a chance to be the best coach I can be.

To fellow coaches - Pete, Lukas, Tracey, Tracy, Yew Soon, Robert, Tim, Dave, Eldhi, Jack, Jacklyn, Peter, Meng, Meng Chew, Iris, Winnie, Ee Yan, Ben, Ken, Alice, Ann, Adrian, Rachit, Jun De, Jing, Freddy, Linh, Woei Tang - thank your for being a part of my life, for your friendship and for brightening up my life. I felt so fulfilled with all the love I felt, answering to a part of me which has been yearning for it. I’ll remember all the hugs and kind words said to me, thank you all.

As I got down from a bus one recent Saturday, this sudden thought zipped past my mind. I was feeling rather tired then and still, I had to walk to another place for another commitment after a long day.

As I was walking, I felt as though I was running a marathon. Just like how you would feel when you are running a marathon. You feel out of breath and tired but you know you have to persevere on to finish the marathon.

As I reflected on my life so far, I realised that I’ve been juggling too many things at the same time and at a certain point, some things started to turn downhill. I knew I had almost reached my breaking point and I had to prioritise. Time seemed to have been the biggest challenge so far. Maybe life is attempting to teach me a lesson and is throwing bigger bricks at me to make me learn.

This reminds me of the wheel of life. Is your wheel a round one and running smoothly? Or is it dented and out of shape?

Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

So live your life in a balanced way so that the smooth round wheel of life can bring you further and farther in life.

Just like this Chinese saying, “Rest is to enable you to go further”.