I’ve just read through an email a good friend of mine forwarded to me.
Can’t help but post here, because it could serve as a reminder to us, in our pursuit of our dreams, to always cherish our loved ones, never to take them for granted. Take the effort to show them you care and they matter to you. Show them, you love them.

Am still feeling very warm inside me… reminding me of how long have I not embraced my loved ones…

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When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in
front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the
car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and
shy.. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I
went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a
civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at
the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more
likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was
the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls’ eyeballs. Her words
suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said,
Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my
wife.. But I couldn’t help doing so.

I moved Dew’s hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.?
I’ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because
I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of
divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something
impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter
how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner.
I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we
watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing
Dew’s body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what
will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently
she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn’t
imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the
staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something
while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled
at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live
together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I’ve got something to
tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt
in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let
her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic
calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why? I’m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her
angry.. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced
at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman
who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But
I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to
see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her
writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found
she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me,
but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the
month’s time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was
simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she
didn’t want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you
still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This
question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded
and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I
have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when
we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from
the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to
end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the
result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel
uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped
behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense
of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked
over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly,
Let us start from today, don’t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove
to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long
time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on
her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were
still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The
visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where
she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn’t tell Dew about
this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was
picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few
but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was
thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I
knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense
of pain.. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. He said. To
him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part
of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I
turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last
minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the
sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our
son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your
arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn’t notice that our life
lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any
delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the
door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won’t divorce. I’m serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no
fever.. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can
only say sorry to you, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because we
didn’t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her
into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until
I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife
which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I
smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until we are old.

Pau? Eating pau? What principles can you derive from eating a pau?

Haha you will be surprised. Here goes.

A friend gave me a char siew pau yesterday, saying she bought it from a stall famous for its pau in Tiong Bahru. Oh, good things must try, right. So I gladly accepted the pau and started peeling off the skin. On the first bite, oh, the feeling of dejavu overwhelmed me. Oh my! I’ve never eaten such delicious pau! Felt so ‘xin fu’…. and for the rest of the bites, I fully savour the sweetness, the juiciness and the taste of the delicious pau, bite after bite.

In between the bites, this sudden thought crossed my mind.

The pau,
if left on the table,
is just like any other pau.
Nothing gained.
But once you savour it,
the taste makes you feel on top of the world.
The feeling of ‘xin fu’ ness…
The expression on your face,
is enough to tempt anyone to also have a bite.
Just like in our life,
when we come across any opportunity,
If left untouched,
Is just a wasted chance,
No matter how good it is.
But once you grab hold of it,
Really appreciate it,
It can be the best thing you can ever find.

Of course, spare the thought of what happens after the pau go through your digestive system…

I was climbing the overhead bridge when I passed by this rather old lady who was huffing and puffing carrying two plastic bags which obviously looked rather heavy while muttering some words that sounded like “oh so heavy”. I was messasging on my handphone then and intuitively I just turned to look at her and asked her “do you need help?”. She smiled shyly and gently declined. So I went on with my way over the bridge and head towards the bus stop.

After some time, the lady finally conquered the bridge and came down the stairs looking at me, smiling. I was shocked, because there’s this stranger who was smiling at me. So I smiled back and then we started talking, getting to know each other and coincidently, we were both waiting for the same bus.

Along the bus journey, we went on talking and finally exchanged numbers. It was amazing how such a small gesture of altruism could in turn, generate much more random acts of kindness. She pointed out to me the correct bus stop to alight and even offered her help.

After alighting, I went to meet my friend and we sat in a McDonalds chatting, catching up with each other. After chatting for a while and sipped about half a glass of iced lemon tea, my bladder was full. When I walked over to the ladies, I had another shock. There is now a counter for collecting fees to enter the toilet and it is priced at $0.20, while previously it was free. So I shelved the shock aside and went in.

To cut the story short, I went to the toilet for the second time and this time as I was walking in, I saw the old man who was taking care of the counter was already starting to close the counter. I took out a 20 cents but the elderly man shook his head and said, no need, and asked me to go in and use. So I asked him, whether he is working for a company or is he working for himself. He answered, he doesn’t receive salary, but the 20 cents are his salary. Upon hearing this, I insisted that he take the 20 cents. What I received in return, was a smile so beautiful, it could warm anybody’s heart.

It is just so wonderful how such small gestures could have made me receive so much more in return. Warm smiles from strangers and the continuity of kindness. What you give, is what you receive. Give and you shall receive. How true.

Sometimes, when we feel our life is filled with nasty people, stop for a while and reflect, whether you yourself has been a nasty person yourself. You will realise if you change your own self, you can change the people around you.

Keep the random acts of kindness going.~

Somehow during our schooldays, we would have been taught that snakes shed their skin in order to grow. But I’ve never given it a thought on how snakes actually shed their skin. All along I assumed that the skin somehow peels off, like how sunburnt skin on our body drops off by itself when we bathe or rub on it. Sometimes I’ve even imagine it splitting down the belly and the skin comes off like a rectangular piece of skin.

It is only recently when I found out the truth. What happens is that a snake will show some symptoms before it actually sheds. The colour of the skin will turn slightly cloudy, the eyes will become opaque and the belly will turn pinkish. It would be really interesting if we are able to watch the whole process of snake shedding its skin.

What I’ve learnt is that the whole process happens real fast. The skin will start opening up from the mouth. All the snake needs to do is to slide out from the old ’shell’ and leave the old unwanted skin behind. So what’s left of a good shed is a complete ‘cover’ of the snake - which looks like an elongated bag.

One thing to note is that the snake sheds the skin of the eyes too. That’s why the eyes turn opaque before the shedding time. For this too, I’ve always imagined that the skin will come off like a mask, where you can see two holes where the eyes are supposed to be.

Once I’ve learnt of this fact, something inside me went ‘ting!’. Just like a light bulb lighted up brightly inside my mind. My assumptions all this time has been wrong and I’ve believed it all the way, thinking that I should be right and never bothered to seek the truth.

In life, we could also have been in the same situation - where we heard about something and without giving it a much deeper thought, we made some assumptions. These assumptions grew into a believe throughout the years and we never even bother to seek the real answers. This could be one of the reasons where rumours turn into a fact after some time.

This pattern can be seen in almost every aspect of life and the world, be it a mother scolding the child stupid, gossips among friends and even in politics - the leader of a country making certain negative statement about another country and the citizens of the country is made to believe that.

Most of the time, people are not aware that this is happening. It is so natural people just do it unconsciously, without realising that they are actually twisting the facts.

With this realisation, I hope those who reads this post will carry this awareness with them and consciously identify and seek the truth. Assumptions only ends up making an [ ASS U ME ] ass out of you and me.

I’ve finally stepped into the zoo here after setting foot on this island 6 years ago. Went with my cousin, her husband and her 4-year-old daughter. Throughout the duration there, there’s a few things which I observed and got me thinking.

1. My niece just suddenly burst out crying when her father brought her near the walkway leading to the tiger’s den. I was shocked because I saw other children in the walkway. What I’m curious about was what made her just burst out crying.

The first thought that leapt into mind was bad spirits. Can she sense certain dangers near there which made her react by bursting out crying? haha maybe I’m too superstitious. It is only later that I spotted a monstrous-looking fake tiger at the entrance to the dim walkway, which I think, scared her. She kept on saying she doesn’t want to go there and we almost just pass by the place.

However, curiosity got the better of me and I went nearer to take a loook. The white tigers are separated from the visitors by a moat. I overheard a visitor asking her friend whether the tiger will just jump out. And hey, the same exclamation was also expressed by my cousin. I wondered whether the same thought is also playing in most visitors’ mind, because for me, this thought never crept into my mind until my cousin exclaimed it. Is this how a human being influence another, by putting a possible idea into another person’s mind through their words?

2. By now, my niece is already inching near to have a look too. Another thing which I noticed was that when one of the tiger walks around in the moat, a school of fishes just follow the tiger around. When the tiger heads right, the school of fishes followed. When the tiger turns around and head left, the school of fishes also turned and head left. Amazing isn’t it? Why is it that way? Tigers are carnivors, and carnivors eat meat. Fishes are meat too, but why doesn’t tigers eat fishes? If you have answers to these questions, do leave me a comment.

3. We managed to catch part of the animal show which started at 1.30pm. I really enjoyed myself throughout the show. What amazed me was how well-trained those animals are. The orang utan who can garner clap supports for himself, the sea lions that can jump like dolphins and the otter that can clean up things. These are animals doing things which are not of their normal behaviour.

Throughout the show, the trainers there did explained briefly how they train the animals, mostly using food reward. If it works for animals, does this strategy work for human beings too? Let’s say, we want to train ourself to be good in something or to pick up a new skill. If we reward ourself each time we do something correct and good, and ignore when we don’t perform, will it be as effective?

Just some food for thoughts! Happy thinking!